A hiatus... broken ;)

Hello again to my dearest of blog reading *friends! It's been a minute... 5,653,259 minutes to be a bit closer to precise... ah heh, YehP, a 10+ year break since the "latest" post...

This is a REBOOT. And why a reboot? Why revisit this Motley Rut blog and not start anew? Why blog at all? What's happened since 2009??

All valid why’s and what’s and maybe we’ll address some as these posts continue to go deeper and darker.

This original blog was from a different era – my post-undergrad days when blogs were gaining underground popularity and when my recent financial degrees seemed like a kick in the dick as we all watched financial institutions crumble and restructure on the backs of their captive customers. It's not that I haven't been writing or that there was a halt in my expression through other mediums - but it's that a combination of laziness and fear led me away from any sort of desire to share with the audience of this worldwide web.

Writing is craft and art - it puts your skill and brains on display and opens one up to a world of criticism and lasting embarrassment. Your 'hit send to publish' writings take away any of the seeming ambiguity of thoughts and desires - if written honestly. My ‘published’ words out here in this connected world "...can and will be held against..." ME if the direction is contrary to PC beliefs and norms. Hitting that 'publish' button is a risk and there is almost certainty that no reward will follow. But here we are...

Whilst chatting with friends recently the topic of writing and journaling breached. My bullet journal sits stocked full of dates and appointments, meeting notes, sketches, and most definitely random thoughts - scattered and locked away from the public domain. And that’s likely a great place for that chaos. But in this whiskey driven convo my mind wondered as to why such expressions should be kept so private? There's not much in the scandalous arena and its structure is so confused that not many could decipher meaning without a Bri-HD. But without posting my musings I can see that my creativity has gone unchecked. I'm hiding in that journal. I'm avoiding the process of creating coherent sentences and any sort of meaningful free work. My journaling is haphazard at best and at worst it is crystal clear that there's no improvement in quality - or attempt at improvement - that's visible through the pages over these last years, at all. 

So why now go "public"?  

I fear that I cannot do good or write well on this open platform. I feel that I'll be exposed and that it'd be me pulling the preverbal curtain cord. 

But if I'm worried that I can't Share something good and that I can't Convey well - then I'll make this my plan: To publish - to share the bad, the poorly written, and the weakly executed.

I'll write and you can watch. Progression or regression, direct or stringy tangents - I give myself the freedom here to write and to be solely accountable to the process of regular writing. The good, the bad, the ugly - here we go...

*I do not know you, you do not know me, let’s not be too weird…